Cold

It's cold outside...really really cold.  And it's this bone chilling type of cold...that like...chills your bones or something, w/e.

I also have a cold, I woke up feeling like a TB ward.  I'm going out in a few minutes to buy some tylenol flu or something.

Good news though, my blackberry is being fixed today!!!  A week without a cell phone is killing me.

-James

Life

So, a lot of stuff has gone on since September '09...half a year of grad school really changes your view on stuff. Hmm...what to talk about..

Let's talk about friends.

Let's say you have friends (I'm 22 and still have drama...w/e I'm used to it at this point)...Well, let me backtrack. I should know the answer to this, but is it possible that a curse can be passed on genetically? On my mom's side in particular there's a jealousy/backstabbing curse. I've yet to have a friend, same with my mom, that hasn't turned around and backstabbed me. People have manipulated me, used me, hurt me, loved me, hated me, all because I care. Maybe it IS my fault?

But at a certain point, you start to remember the big blows. These are the people that were REALLY close to you that performed those painful, and memorable about-faces. My first was one of my friends...we'll call him...Patrick (hmmz...P.P. are perfect initials). This kid was, in my opinion, one of the best kids I could ever meet, smart, influential, a balanced extrovert. And I treated him as I'd treat any one of my friends, offer them help with stuff, try to arrange trips, etc.

Suddenly P.P. decided that my generosity and love was "creepy" or something along those lines, and not only refuses to confront me about it, but blocks me from his world. Isn't it amazing how in the information age, a few clicks ends a relationship? I've made many attempts to contact him, but they've only proved to be fruitless and futile...and I did NOTHING wrong.

The best story happened though when I divulged emotions and life info to my dad...it's the first and last time I'll ever do it. I told him about my career goals, my graduate training, my interim period, skipping an entire degree in one year. He proceeds to say "You're not God, you'll FAIL," and sue my mother to end child support because as an interim student I'm not in his books "full time." He then uses what I said about my relationship with my mother, IN PRIVATE, against me and against her on the phone! MY DAD...geesh.

So my new motto is...trust no one except for yourself. I have to assume that everyone has an ulterior agenda, and that there is damage to be caused at all ends. I hate to do it, but I can't risk anymore...disappointments in my life. They hurt.

Good Night World! I'll talk to you tomorrow.

-James